How i wish you knew how it felt to be surrounded by so many people that care about you, yet feel like you’re the loneliest person in the whole world. How having everything you wish for, yet feel empty handed when it comes to having what your heart truly desires.
What it desires? Well it’s actually kinda complicated. You see, at first it’s all a bunch of messy scribbles and stuff but then, as you slowly go deeper and deeper, you will find a young girl, looking for her best friend. A mere child who’s trusty companion became missing, his warmth, his enthusiastic touch also dissappeared. Somebody who used to make the grayest of days turn to a bright sunshine in a matter on seconds. Somebody who…dare to say, became her sole purpose of exisiting.
How can that possibly go from being her everything to be non-existant in just a short period of time you would ask yourself. Well, love, for her, faded away. L-O-V-E, a four letter word that once meant everything, now means nothing. And i think it actually isn’t that somebody’s fault completely because even though he did hurt her in many ways and made her emotionally unbalanced and just made many things a lot worse than they could be, he was sweet and had a heart of gold, something not many somebodies have. Also, he was truthful and loyal to his feelings and of course, to her.
What do i wanna go with all of this? Well, simple. All i’m trying to say is that that somebody shouldnt feel like a nobody just because that lonely girl did all the things she did and feels the way she feels…he has all the right to stay away and try to find happiness somewhere else…somewhere not being in the arms, with her. Even though she still has a bit of faith left, even though she still feels there is some love left, she truly understands that anything that is forced is bound to go wrong over time and so, she feels he is free to do whatever his heart truly desires. Whatever makes him happy, she will always stay aside and watch from the sidelines, cheering him on as the time passes. it does hurt her a lot when she things of him, when she sees his pictures standing against the wall, those sweet memories left behind in portraits. That’s why it’s best if she just went away for a while…to ease the pain, to cure her wounds.
What will become of her, you ask? I don’t think it should matter now, even if now she feels the way she does, i’m pretty sure she will find a way out of this labyrinth, out of the abyss she threw herself in just to find the truth behind the truth in which in time it will set her free. Hopefully by the end of everything, somebody will be there again to catch her from the eternal abyss she threw herself in. Maybe in time she will find herself back to the beginning, back to when things are simple and the heart is young and free…but that feels impossible riht now.
Why she does these kinds of things? She always loved the adventure, that sense of relief if brings her when she discovers what her heart is seeking. She did it once and came out victorious…does it mean if she does it again it will have the same consequences?
Only time will tell, until then, wish her good luck and please….do not hate her. Because hate will only make things worse than they already are. She will never hate you, even if you did the most unexpicable things, because deep inside she will always love that sweet boy who once melted her heart away and set her free of everything that could of once hurt her.
Maybe someday, you and i will meet each other half way…until then, i wish you the very best, my dear. From me to you, i say: good luck.